I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
