how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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