The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
