piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
