Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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