I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
