Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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