If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
