he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
