16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
