you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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