at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
