So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
this will be a night to untag.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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