You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
