my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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