i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
