im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
