They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I could fuck to npr.
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