Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
