The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize