i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
