He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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