I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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