every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
