You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
