She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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