i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
