Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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