whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
