We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
