he was CRYING into my vagina
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
