Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.

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(815): View more from Illinois

My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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(925): View more from California

I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows

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(713): View more from Texas

This dude is being a total douche

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights

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(562): View more from California

Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?

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(757): View more from Virginia

My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.

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