Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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