I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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