well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
