I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize