it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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