she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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