Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
