If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize