In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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