i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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