wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize