How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I deserve this hangover.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize