We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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