I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
