She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
