Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
