Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
