She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize