i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
