i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
