you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
